I’ve always loved coffee. As a kid, I loved the smell of coffee ice cream. As a teen, I discovered Frappuccinos and the like and was immediately hooked. And as a poor graduate student, I had worked my way up to drinking two pots (yes POTS, not cups – 12-cup full pots of coffee) per day.
It was when I left graduate school behind that I realized I’d taken my coffee addiction with me. Two pots a day when you’re a fitness instructor might seem like a good idea, until you realize that teaching Spin class with 3-4 cups in you makes for a shaky, heart-racing mess.
So I decided to quit.
In 2013, I went cold turkey off the caffeine – no coffee. Not a drop. Not an espresso after dinner, or a cuppa in the morning, or a nice joe between friends in the afternoon. I just gave it up. The entire year was “dry” for my coffee addiction, and I made it through.
Were there headaches? Yeah, bad ones, but that wasn’t nearly the worst part. I realized that I truly like coffee, not only for its pick-me-up effects but because it’s damn delicious, and it feels like a (notably low-calorie!) treat to me, even just the plain black stuff.
So I decided to go back.
Come 2014, I came back onto the coffee scene like a “normal” person – with a cup in the morning here and there, sometimes split a pot with Nick on the weekends, and enjoying a nice espresso after a dinner out or with friends. And it’s been glorious.
I guess the point of this entire story is to explain the fact that I tend to live my life in extremes. Hard lines. Blacks and whites. I am very uncomfortable with grey areas; with blurred borders. If I could have everything my way, everything would be known, finite, and bounded. But these tendencies also tend to make me an “all or nothing” type of gal, which in instances like this, can lead to not-so-healthy patterns of living.
Coffee is my first big moderation success story. I haven’t yet mastered the art of telling myself “when” when it comes to buying workout clothes (ADDICTION!), makeup (ADDICTION PLUS!) or my new obsession of flat shoes (epic, I know). But for me, it’s kind of a big deal.
Do you have trouble telling yourself “enough is enough” with certain parts of your life?